Internal Conversations

Ever since I began my student teaching experience nearly a year ago, teachers have been informing me about the frustrations of teaching. Granted, virtually all of them followed that sentiment with some variation of “…but it’s absolutely worth it.” I was always a bit confused how a profession could be very rewarding yet very frustrating, but after teaching for roughly two months, I’m starting to understand.

Actual photo of me during a bad day

When I started this blog I thought it would be easy to keep updated, even if I gave a short update every week of what my lessons were and how my classes were going. Since the school year began, this thing has been at the absolute back of my mind. The only reason I’m updating now is because, due to mother nature, I randomly had this whole past week off. I’m going to keep this update concise, because I could definitely ramble for a long time. Below is a short list of some things I’ve learned since my teaching began. Although I refer to ‘you’ in the tidbits below, I’m not really telling anyone in particular to do anything. It’s more of the things I think to myself in my head. So, essentially, the ‘you,’ is me.

• Organization can make your life easier, but only if it’s on-going and flexible.

It’s been drilled into my head for the past few years that teachers need to be organized. I took this advice to heart, and I started my year with a system -a binder with color coded folders for each class, a small separate binder for attendance, seating, and checking homework, and clearly marked folders in the classroom for classwork that students may have missed. That’s all well and good, and I’m glad I took the time to set these systems up, but as the weeks progressed I realized my systems slowly beginning to unravel. My folders for the classes filled up extremely quickly, and I didn’t have enough room to bring the binder home with me. The binder with attendance and seating got messy quickly as I began shifting students around, and some days I forgot to take attendance at all. Students weren’t going to the folders to pick up their missing work, and sometimes the folders would be empty (because although absent students didn’t use the folders, some students who had misplaced worksheets did). I found myself completely overwhelmed with adjusting everything, not expecting to need to. Luckily now, my systems have changed a bit, but they have changed in ways that allow for them to be remodeled and extended. This whole teaching thing – not just the organization – is a frequently morphing beast, and a teacher needs to be ready for what’s next.

• Remember to keep the nuts and bolts of the operation at the forefront, then focus on the fancy stuff.

I previously mentioned how some days I forgot to take attendance. In my eagerness as a new teacher, I would overlook the small, technical aspects of the school day because I was preoccupied with being the best English teacher in history, keeping my kids engaged and making them want to go straight home and read. Before any of that, there are certain things usually pertaining to your school that must be taken care of. Lesson plans need to be submitted on time. Guidance passes need to be handed to students. Students need to be informed about an upcoming event. E-mails need to be replied to. These things are easy to take care of at the time they are supposed to be completed, but looking back and realizing they haven’t been done can bring a ton of stress. Personally, forgetting to do something silly such as submitting attendance brings me much more anxiety than having a students not quite understand my lesson (not that I don’t care if they understand – I absolutely do).

• Don’t take anything too personally.

The school is a fairly hectic place. There really isn’t any room for your feelings to get hurt. Whether a fellow teacher, caught up in her work, gives you a snappy attitude, or a student groans and calls your homework assignment “useless,” letting it resonate through the rest of your day can create a snowball effect of miserableness.

• Grading essays takes a long time.

I’ll leave it at that.

• Remember that you aren’t perfect.

Nobody is perfect, even a teacher. Stuff is going to go wrong, especially in your first year.

That’s all the advice for now. As far as how my year is going personally, I’ve found myself overwhelmed at times, confused at times, and even in despair at times (although it never lasts very long). I’ve asked myself “is this what I really want to do the rest of my life?” I don’t have all of the answers, but I do know this – I enjoy going into work every day. Honestly, I usually feel the worst about work when I’m at home, considering usually I need to bring my work home with me. My students, though they can sometimes drive me up a wall, make me laugh more than they make me yell.